Psychology Flash Back

           Last week in one of my psychology classes we learned about cognitive dissonance. I learned that cognitive dissonance is a discomfort caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. According to the theory of cognitive dissonance, people have the desire to reduce stress by changing their attitudes, beliefs, and actions. People deal with dissonance also by justifying, blaming, and denying their actions.  As I was learning this in class I began to think of a time in my life when this had happed to me. I experienced cognitive dissonance when I intentionally lied to my parents about taking an over-the-weekend school trip to Death Valley.  I told my parents that it was a class trip and we would be leaving on Saturday morning and returning Sunday night. However, the truth was that I was going to Reno, Nevada with my boyfriend and some friends. This was the first time in my life that I lied to my parents in such a drastic way. Certainly, I am not saying I had never lied to them, just that usually it was “little white lies” here and there, but never to this extreme. I am a type of girl who deeply believes that lying is not a good thing, especially when it comes down to lying to once own parents. I would always criticize my girlfriends for always lying and never conceding the truth to their parents and here I was doing the same thing they did. 

            The discomfort I felt after lying to them was very unique. I knew that what I was doing was not right and if my parents were to find out they would be very disappointed. To them I was the example of the perfect daughter. At family parties I would hear my family’s conversations about their children, while my aunts and uncles complained about their sons and daughters, my parents praised about me. This made me feel proud about my beliefs and actions. Yet, in this case my actions were clearly inconsistent with my beliefs. I was lying to my parents. After discovering how guilty I felt I concluded that it was my own fault. I recognized that if I had not lied to my parents I would not feel as bad as I did. I had a choice to tell them the truth and ask for permission, and instead I decided to take the easy route and just lie and tell them something I knew they would not oppose of. To make myself feel better I tried justifying my actions by making myself believe that “if I hadn’t lied then I wouldn’t be on this trip right now.” However, this did not work for me. I experienced extreme anxiety and distress after lying to my parents. I felt so disappointed with myself that I remember not even having fun that weekend. I wanted to tell my parents the truth, but felt too scared and ashamed to confess my lie. This made me aware of the inconsistency between my attitude and my behavior, but instead of changing my belief I decided to change my behavior. As a result of this I never again lied to my parents again. The feeling that I had from my behavior was something I did not want to feel again.

Vocabulary Words

dissonance- A tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.

conceding- Admit that something is true or valid after first denying or resisting it.